Belch Reality

I’m hoping for something that I’ve never had.Someone who for once won’t make me wait or sit on the back burner for anything or anyone. Yes I expect what I’ve been giving since forever. Someone who will for once fawn all over me. If I don’t see or feel that ‘fight’ in you to keep me in your life then I fall back. I’m forceful and demanding because a monster has been created. I will no longer sit idle while someone else is getting everything they want and I once again am tossed to the side as an afterthought. I want someone who will treat me like royalty and I’ll do the same for them. I too want love notes/text,flowers and not because I said it,but because it’s felt I want to be listened to intently as if you’re hanging on my every word. Why?? Because i’d do the same. I want to be able to express how I feel and get things off my chest without being stifled. I’ve been told that I hold things in,now I let things out and I’m told it’s too much. I want clear communication,I shouldn’t have to guess what’s going on. I guess the moral of the story is that no one truly understands me because if I were understood I wouldn’t even be typing this. I am worthy and I will repeat it as often as I see fit,not for anyone elses benefit,but for my own. Steady Belching. Lou

That moment when you realize that your mother has no problem discouraging you,ignoring you,picking at every morsel of your being,but she has never told you that she’s proud of anything that you’ve done in 30 years or has even uttered the words ‘I Love You’. If she did you may have been too young to understand it or to pay attention,you know it’s hard to understand when you’re teething and trying to learn to focus your eyes.

Yup tell everyone else how you love them and how proud you are of them and treat me like a loser…nooo problem smh. The moral of the story is no matter how old we become we will forever look for some sort of love,approval or a glimmer of hope that our mother will give a shit.The fear is it will never happen.

<Steady Belching> Lou